Odds against us
by IsuzuForever
Summary: A Poemfic of SoubixRitsuka. When Ritsuka confesses his love for Soubi, what kind of events will happen after that? Chapters alternate POV's along with POV's in the poems! R&R!


_**"Forgive me if I seem a bit straight forward,"**_

Is it the way he looked at me that made this feeling all too real to me? I don't know hen or how it started but once it did it's all I could think about. There wasn't a second of the day I wasn't wondering what Soubi was doing, what he was thinking, if he was thinking of me too…

I've been wondering what to do…wondering if this is right, wondering what he's going to do…but now it's too late. Soubi's already sitting in my room smiling up at me.

"Ritsuka," he coos interrupting my thoughts and shaking away the notion in my head that he wasn't really here and I still had more time.

"Huh?" I ask snapping back to reality.

"What is it? You look…distant today," Soubi seemed concerned and it showed on his face.

"I—I—Uhh…I'm not sure how to say this…" I stutter most of this sentence, but it seemed only natural that I do since I'm about to say something so painful yet so glorious.

"Ritsuka, its okay whatever it is I'm sure that it will be just fine," Soubi reassured as I made my way to where he was sitting.

I knelt down beside him. My heart was throbbing against my chest. This was the moment of truth. I open my mouth to speak, but soon it's engulfed in Soubi's. However the feeling of unrelenting pain on my body didn't let up. Flips, twists and turns in my stomach made me ache to get rid of these butterflies, but all I could do was kiss him in return.

Soubi's hand pushed me closer to his body and I submiss to this feeling gratefully. My hands travel the length of his golden hair, and scratch his scalp causing him to let out a small shutter. It's this feeling of him kissing me and me kissing back that makes me feel the way I do. The feeling I can only describe with 3 words—

"Ritsuka…" he whispers in my ear when the kiss is broken.

I nip at his neck passionately and hear him beg for more. This isn't what I wanted to do…but I can't stop myself, I need more of him, I want him and only him. My teethe bite down and Soubi grunts in pleasure.

**_"I'm usually so shy."_**

I stop and look down at the floor. My legs are crossed in front of me; I don't know what came over me. I'm not some hormone crazy 15 year old. I _can_ control myself. For reasons unknown, the second he walks through my door all logic flies out of the window and I forget how to think like a normal person.

"Are you okay Ritsuka?" he questions looking somewhat satisfied with what just happened.

"I'm sorry…" I mutter fast while the color of poppies streaks my face.

"For?"

"Nothing…nothing…just being fast…" I mutter not knowing exactly what to say to that.

"You're right, there is no reason for you to be sorry," Soubi confirms sitting up and stroking my hair.

"**_But, I'm simply crushed by those eyes_**

**_That stare at me so blatantly."_**

Those sky blue eyes seem to bur a hole through me, I don't know what to do anymore. I want to fall into his arms and cry, I want to scream how much I love him, I want to kiss him, I want to possess him.

He stands up the rest of the way and offers me his strong hand. As he pulls me up he also pulls me into a loving embrace. I cling to his shirt, needing him only for a minuet more.

"I should get going, you have school tomorrow," Soubi finally breathed gently.

I let him go with a small nod, knowing that it was probably best that he did leave right now. However, my mind didn't seem to think so.

"**_I can't hold back the words as they fall onto the floor in front of us."_**

"SOUBI I LOVE YOU!" I scream with my hands soon following these words to my mouth.

My eyes widen in sheer terror, I know that I've just opened up something that I can't close. Soubi stops dead in his tracks, I don't know if it's out of confusion or because he wants to say something as well. I sink to my knees, my body's grown weak and standing is too much of a chore for me to do right now.

Soubi's eyes look ten times their normal size, is this good or bad? I can't read his face, not that I usually can, he is either surprised or he is trying to let me down.

"**_Is it normal to feel this way?"_**

"Ritsuk-" he begins before I cut him off by throwing my hand to the side to tell him to stop speaking.

"Soubi, I don't know how to say it any other way," I start but I can't stand right now. My eyes follow the lines on my floor, they don't know what else to do at a time like this. The color of my cheeks is even worse now that I've said it. "But, I do love you…is that okay?"

"Ritsuk-" Soubi didn't get a word in before I start to ramble.

"Soubi, when it happened is a mystery to me too. All I know is that one day I woke up and knew that I was in love with you. I couldn't explain it to anyone. It was like a yanking at my heart that wouldn't leave me, I mean, oh god I don't know what I mean!"

"**_Or should this be buried beneath fake smiles?"_**

I muster up every ounce of strength I have, and face him. The floor left my vision and I'm staring the one I love right in the eyes as if I'm telling him to forget everything I've said thus far.

"Ritsuk-" he starts in again but I hold up my left hand to tell him to stop talking.

Just like all the other times, he obeys. I feel my mouth move up and down, but none of the words are mine. I'm not thinking, just talking, running on pure emotion and it scares me to death…

"**_My mouth has forgotten how to snap shut,_**

**_And continues to speak long after I've ordered for it to cease."_**

_Just shut up now and I can get out of this! Just shut up right now! JUST SHUT UP!_

But this doesn't happen. With every word I speak Soubi looks less and less readable.

"I've never wanted to be with anyone more than I want to be with you. Everyday I think of you, I think of what we can do and I think of our future together…Dear god I have no idea where all of this is coming from…" my voice spiked a little bit as I confess that these words are as foreign to me as being without Soubi there to help me.

There was no release from the feeling in my gut, the butterflies remained. My hands ache to touch him, but my heart is telling me to keep away right now, to wait for him to respond.

"**_I'm not sure what to do…"_**

"Ritsuka, shut up," Soubi finally got his words in.

I look up at him being so defiant. I can feel the features of my face contort into semi-angry look. He is smiling, but for some reason it looks annoyed more than anything else.

"Don't tell me to shut up!" I yell getting frustrated at him.

"You're not letting me talk," Soubi responds calmly although I'm yelling at him…again.

"**_Now I feel naked in front of you." _**

"IT'S BECAUSE I LOVE YOU GOD DAMMIT!" I scream standing up as my tail and ears reach for the sky.

For some reason, breathing is more difficult than it used to be. My breath is shallow and heavy, like I'd been running a marathon rather than confessing my love for this beautiful man.

After a few deep breaths a sit back down…I'm just waiting…that's it…if that's all I'm doing then why does it hurt so much? Just wallowing in agonizing pain…that's what I'm doing…just waiting…

"**_You can break me because…"_**

Tears threatened to fall on the floor, why am I going to cry?!

_He knows…that means he has all the power now…he can hurt me more than anyone ever could…if he knows this surely he'll choose to hurt me…he'll hurt me…all because I wanted to tell him how I felt…How can I be so stupid?! I fucking trust him too much it'll destroy me!_

"**_I love you…"_**

"So you're not going to say anything?" I ask looking up at Soubi who is merely watching me.

"I'm not sure what to say…" he finally tells me after what seems like a thousand years of slow crawling silence.

"**_Please accept me…"_**

I stare at my feet, wishing I had never said a word…It's easier to repress what you feel than to be hurt by crushing rejection…that's the power I've given him…but just saying the 3 most overused words in the country…and I have no idea if he's going to say what I _need _to hear…

&&&

A/N: The poem used is one of my own . called "Please accept me" that I wrote for Loveless! Tell me what you think, I seem to be just turning out a ton of Loveless huh? lol! Well, I'm going to put up the next chapter soon as it's typed. It's going to be told through Soubi's eyes, as the compainion to this poemfic (I guess that's what it's called?). Then I will go from there . So leave me some love!


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